Don't think about something....

The last few weeks have been pretty eventful. Lots going on. I have been sitting here thinking about what I want to write, but I keep losing motivation so I figured I would give the very abridged version.

Over water festival weekend I went to Siem Reap and spent time with other volunteers and tried to avoid the masses. Phnom Penh is out of control during Water Festival with people pouring in from all over the country. Many of you have probably seen news reports or read about the stampede during this years celebrations which lead to the deaths of roughly 350 Khmer people. Fortunately there were no peace corps volunteers or staff involved but many of the communities in which we live and work were effected. Being so far removed from Phnom Penh, it has had less of an impact on my community than those of many other volunteers. Irregardless of location though, it was a tragedy for the entire country, which has had more than its share already.

On a happier note! This Thanksgiving was one He!! of a production. There was an in service training held in my provintial town on the friday following Thanksgiving for all of the new volunteers. Soooo 8 or so of us spent the better part of 2 days cooking thanksgiving dinner for about 80 people. I made brownies, sugar cookies, and apple crisp for dessert, and pitched in here and there with the dinner preparations. I rubbed a raw turkey with oil. This was a big step in overcoming my touching raw meat phobia. I would also reccommend basting turkeys with Anchor Beer. They turned out great. It was a lot of work but a lot of fun, I may even have enjoyed the prep for the big meal more than the big meal itself. As tradition dictates: I am Thankful to have now spent two great Thanksgivings in Cambodia.

The latest and greatest at site moments include:

1) discovering khmer dance aerobics at my market. They are hard core about it too.
2) Best awkward Foo conversation:
Foo: CHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?
Me: GETTING DRESSED
Foo: Can I watch a little please?
Me: (SILENCE............).....No.
* He has stopped trying to follow me into the bathroom when I showed which is a step in the right direction.
3) People laughing hard over my boldily harm/stupidity/clumsiness. I showed one of the nurses at the healthcenter that I had burned my chin with a curling iron. She started howling with laughter. Thought it was about the funniest thing ever and then started talking over patients to tell the other nurses about it. They are all still making fun of me about it. I am not sure I will ever fully understand khmer sense of humor, but I appreciate the ability to make people laugh.
4) Assessment exam responses. Very few of my students were able to get to the essay questions in this exam I gave last week...only one out of the 80 or so kids that took it, was able to get to the last question. It was something along the lines of "talk about some dangers or health hazards in Cambodia and how to avoid them." Her response was (abridged version):
There is bodys healthy and hearts healthy. For bodys healthy eat good food [blah blah etc...] For heart's healthy: 1)Try not to stress, 2)Try to be happy all time, 3) Don't work so much, 4) Don't think about something.

So there you have it, the keys to emotional health and stability. Don't work, don't stress, don't think, and be happy!

Safety & Security

Recently I went for a walk down the dirt road I lived on for the first few months at site, it winds back through rice fields and houses. While walking I ran into my old neighbor. She asked me if I was afraid to walk alone and I naturally said no and continued on my way. I passed a few more houses with people who waved and asked where I was going. I kept walking and was invited to sit and "talk play" with a family, so I did. When I got up to go with the intention to walking farther they scolded me and told me to go home because it was 5:00p. They seemed to be looking past me so turned and saw a random guy sitting on his moto just staring at us. Or me rather. I had seen him ride his moto past me at least 4 times while I was walking. So, I turned around and walked back towards town. Then I started thinking again about the question "are you afraid?" and why I am not. It occurred to me that people like that family are why I feel safe walking alone on backroads.

Now I am sitting in a hotel room in Siem Reap and thinking about why I feel perfectly safe leaving my moneyand passport on the night stand and my laptop and ipod on the bed while in a huge tourist town on one of the bussiest weekends of the year(Water festival). I think last night is a pretty good illustration of why. My roommate and I came back late after going out dancing to find that they had pulled the gate over the doors shut. Getting locked out of your guest house could be cause for alarm, but they knew we were out and left the gate slightly open so we could get back in. The two women who run the front desk were asleep on cots in the lobby and we did not want to wake them so we hopped behind the counter to look for our key. We could not find it. Naturally I am thinking...well if we could get in and just jump behing the counter then anyone could do it...But eventually we woke one of the women and she laughed, lifted up her pillow, and handed us our room key.

When we all first got to country we were told, as were PC trainees all over the world I am sure, that the best way to ensure our personal safety was to build relationships in our communities. After a little over a year I can say I think they are right.I feel safe walking alone in my community because I cannot go 10 feet without being greeted, asked where I am going, or asked to join a family in whatever they happen to be doing at the time (usually eating rice or talk playing). Moreover they warn me when something is off (subtly, but still). I feel safe leaving my valuables in a hotel room in Siem Reap because the ladies downstairs call me sister, know where I live and who I came here to visit, and sleep with my room key under their pillow!

Creative Parenting

I’ve seen a lot of what I will term “creative parenting” during my time in Cambodia, but I saw a particularly amusing technique while at the health center this week. There was a woman waiting for a pre-natal checkup with a son who looked to be about two. He was running wild having a great time and his poor 6-months pregnant mother was chasing him all over the place. Eventually she got fed up. He was getting ready to make a run for it again so she grabbed a piece of medical tubing that was lying around and tied one end of it to his ankle and the other to her chair. Then she and the other pregnant ladies sat there and laughed at him while he tried to get away and dissolved into wailing fits of rage on the floor. Tying up your children seems to be frowned upon in America, but in Cambodia it accomplishes the desired result AND provides entertainment for your friends.

This past week has been the coldest of my Cambodian experience and I am being a complete baby about it. I have been sleeping in a sweater with 2 blankets. I am not sure if it has actually been cold or if I have just become that used to the climate. I am considering putting together a photo album of Khmer winter fashions because people wear the most hilarious get ups to keep warm. I saw a little girl in a santa suit the other day.

Among other highlights; I got to make a trip down to the beach over a long weekend to celebrate halloween with friends. The beach makes me happy. Also, I was able to attend a Hillary Clinton meet and greet at the US Embassy along with about 20 other volunteers. I was not one of the lucky few who got to shake her hand (I thought lunging over children was sort of bad form)but it was still a cool experience. Foo has started wearing a backpack and telling me he is going to school to learn English. So far he knows "1-10" (not necessarily in order) as well as "bye bye." His backpack contains a notebook, pen, waterbottle, and rubber band gun. He has taken to shooting me with the rubber band gun (doesnt actually shoot rubber bands...just makes a snapping noise) and then yelling "CHER STOP DYING!!!!!!!!!!" It is more funny in Khmer because there are two words for die. One is used for humans and the other for animals. He uses the animal death word for me. Thanks Foo.

"Don't talk to crazy people"

I have written about the woman at my school who thinks she is a teacher, and I think I have mentioned the woman my host mom chased away with a stick during training (that’s quite a story so you guys will have to let me know if I have not in fact shared that experience). There is a strange man who often shows up at eating establishments I frequent and raves about people trying to kill him and wanting my phone number. Now we have a new character. I was at the market the other day buying fruit and chatting with my fruit lady when this woman walked up. She wore glasses and had a trendy haircut (signs of $$) so I did not realize right away that she was talking nonsense. Of course, the fact that her sentences consisted of Khmer, English, AND French, didn’t help. Anyhow she was showing me random stuff out of her purse and the fruit stand ladies were giving me “we don’t know what she is saying either” kinds of looks. So finally I completed my fruit transaction and walked home. I had been sitting chatting with my jolly yay for a few minutes when this woman appeared in front of my house. She sauntered on over and sat down next to me and proceeded to sing me a song while pointing to various injuries on various parts of her body. I sat there looking puzzled for a bit before my ming (aunt) looked at me and mouthed “GO IN THE HOUSE”. So I did. Later my business yay asked me about it. I told her that I didn’t know the woman and that she had followed me from the market and I didn’t know what to do. Her advice was this; “Cher, do not talk to crazy people.” Duly noted.

This past several weeks also included another golden moment with my Khmer tutor. I asked her the Khmer word for “rub,” as in “rub in ointment,” or something along those lines. The dictionary had several contextual options for “rub,” one of which was “rub one out,” and I naturally laughed. She naturally wanted to know why I laughed. I attempted to explain the slang meaning by having her look up relevant words, as a result I discovered another glaring omission in the Khmer dictionary (well, the one we were using at least).

Every once in a while I am struck by an unexpected memory of my pre Cambodian life that leaves me feeling nostalgic. This week I was contemplating Halloween and my thoughts wandered to Kay. Kay is (or at least was) the organic chemistry lab coordinator at Linfield. I thought of her because she took Halloween seriously. Every year on Halloween Kay came to work in a full body lion suit, complete with tail, and lab coat. Arguably, a full body lion suit is not the best idea in a chem. Lab, but that never stopped her. I was debating dressing up for Halloween this year, but I think I will in honor of Kay.

Foo is still a little monster. I have included photographic evidence in this blog. The other night he stuck his head in my mosquito net and started banging on the keys of my laptop until he noticed the movie that was playing and then asked if Hannah Montana is my friend. Yes, I was watching the Hannah Montana movie.

Goals

Not much new has happened in the last several weeks. I did a little traveling and a little relaxing around Cambodia, celebrated the k4s swearing in in Phnom Penh, and had a couple low key weeks at site waiting for school to get going again. It has been fun getting to know the new volunteers in my province since swear in. I know it isnt new years but I feel like the swearing in of new volunteers is a good time to re-assess goals. So here is a list of my new goals for the last 10 months in Cambodia:

1)Learn to like beer. It's far more economical.
2)Start reading things of substance again. I recently rememebered that I like learning, and moreover, and I hate how much stuff I have forgotten. (Dad I now understand why we used to find you reading chemistry textbooks in the garage,I wish I had mine here)
3)Teach less EFC and more creative things. I surprised myself with the realization that I really like teaching, I just hate the EFC (the English Language Curriculum used here).
4)Try more new recipes. I made pumpkin soup last weekend and it was a success. I really should learn to cook khmer food too...
5)Travel outside of Cambodia. It seems ridiculous that I have been here over a year and haven't gone anywhere (except America of course...)
6)Get khmer-tastic photos taken.
7)?
8)?
9)?
10)Figure out what I am doing after Cambodia.

Khmer Medical Terms

I am in Kampong Cham once again helping with training. Today one of the volunteers had an English/Khmer dictionary of medical termonology. While waiting for community activities to start a few of us went through the dictionary, as a result I now have a number of new favorites.

the khmer term for sperm literally translatess to "the boss of life"
the khmer term for speculum literally translates to "Tool to open the golden door"
the khmer term for anus literally translates to "big door"
AND last but not least, the khmer term for priapism translates to "angry penis"

Gross

It has been nice taking a break from busy and just hanging out at site. It’s nice to feel that way. I have spent a considerable amount of time recently laying in my hammock, eating pomegranates, and reading the Chronicles of Narnia and various other novels of comparable intellectual magnitude (in addition to mornings at the health center, lesson planning and translating, of course).

I realized the other night that there is a major omission in my khmer language knowledge, an omission which most certainly needs to be remedied given that I live with a 3 year old boy. The word I seem to be missing in my Khmer repetoir is “gross.” I know how to say various things like “not delicious,” “I don’t like,” “…smells bad,” etc… But I do not know how to express disgust at another person. It would be natural at this point to be wondering what brought to light this hole in my education. The incident occurred around 6:30PM on the night of September the 3rd, 2010. I was cooking my dinner and in marched Foo. He climbed up onto a stool next to me as he often does when I am cooking dinner. He began asking me various “Cher, what is this? Where did you buy it? etc…” types of questions as per usual. I looked over to respond to his inquiries and saw that he was buck naked with one leg on the stool and one on my counter/cooking surface in a lunge-like position. I laughed; 3 year olds like to run around naked, whatever. But then he started eating things; things that are not meant to be eaten by themselves. It started with an uncooked penne noodle. No big. Then he had his hand in my oatmeal tin. Then he started tasting my spices (and crinkling his nose after each one and yelling “Doikanea!!” which means ‘the same’). Then he was sticking his finger in my spaghetti sauce. None of this is terribly disgusting but then I turned away to stir my pasta and when I looked back Foo was standing on the counter, still completely naked, shoveling the contents of a can of low-fat milk powder into his mouth with a spoon. GROSS. I mean if it had been frosting or something, sure, but low-fat milk powder…not delicious.

Oh wait, I know stuff...

The last month or so has been rather busy. There isn't a whole lot to report though. I spent a good chunk of time helping out with training of the new volunteers (welcome k4!). The main result of this was a realization of how far I have come in the last year. It's funny how you can fail to see your own progress until you catch a glimpse of where you were before. I realized just how much I have learned about Cambodia, khmer culture, and language as well as issues in the healthcare and education systems. Moreover, it occured to me how much more comfotable I am with our khmer staff after having lived here for a year. So thats a nice confidence boost.

Ryan was also here for 10 days. It was great to have my brother here and get to share my Cambodia life with him a bit. That also opened my eyes a bit to how much I have adapted to my life here.

Babies don't grow in the vagina...

On Sunday I taught a lesson on reproductive health focusing primarily on birth control methods and how they work. I don’t think I have ever said “egg and sperm” so many times in the course of an hour. I spent a lot of time explaining things we think of as very basic, like fertilization, and the fact that the vagina and uterus are not the same thing. They only giggled a little bit when I drew a penis on the board. On Monday and Tuesday a friend of mine came from Battambang to do a workshop on female health and hygiene with my girls. Khmer women, especially high school aged, tend to be very shy about these topics so I wasn’t sure how it would be received. I was pleasantly surprised though. I had 20 girls show up for the two day workshop. They not only showed up but participated, answered questions when asked, and asked a lot of their own questions. I was very proud of them. I had two favorite moments. The first was when Meghan and her Khmer counterparts were teaching about good hygiene before sex. They asked the girls if they had any ideas about this and one of my students suggested that “taking off your clothes” is good pre-sex hygiene. Not sure how much it has to do with sanitation, but hey, it’s a good idea anyway! Later they were answering questions that my students wrote at our last health club meeting. One of the questions was about what they could do to be more beautiful. In response to this question Meghan’s main Khmer counterpart suggested things like exercising, eating well, bathing often, etc… but her last bit of advice was “you should have an orgasm every day because when you feel good you look good!” Now in America I would not advocate saying something like that to a bunch of teenage girls. But here, it’s a different story. It is highly unlikely that unmarried girls here will be doing anything sexual, so statements like that wouldn’t be perceived as encouraging promiscuous, unsafe, or even immoral behavior. Even in married women though, sexuality tends to be incredibly repressed. It is rarely looked upon as something that should be pleasurable for a woman, and the concept of fore-play doesn’t really exist, which brings with it a whole truckload of related problems. So to have a married Khmer woman openly talking about enjoying sex is AWESOME. AWESOME and funny.

On another amusing note; I have written about the “crazy lady” at my school before. I will recap though. There is a mentally ill woman in my community who thinks she is a teacher. She shows up at the school every day, in teaching clothes (button down blouse and a floor length skirt called a sampot), carrying a notebook, and wanders into classrooms talking nonsense. She seems to think I am interesting or something because she shows up at least once in just about every class I teach. I didn’t think to warn Meghan about her, and during the workshop she just wandered in and started telling a story about a relative in Battambang who had just gotten engaged. It reminded me that where we are from that would never every happen. In a way I appreciate that it does here. She fits into the fabric of the community so much more easily here than she would where I am from where she would either be viewed as an unacceptable disruption or a danger.

MISC.

This week I had the pleasure of explaining to my khmer tutor that sperm and bacteria are not the same thing.

So, I am prepping this lesson on reproductive health. Really basic stuff; these are the kinds of birth control available, here is how they work, these ones are the best, etc… I doubt that any of my girls actually need this information but many of them will probably be married soon so I figure I might as well give them the info now. My Khmer tutor was helping me to go through the lesson and translate it. Even though I have help with translating the lessons while I teach them, I try to make sure I at least understand the basics of the language necessary so I will know if there is a major mistranslation. This particular topic is proving to be a challenge, not because I am shy about teaching it, but because getting someone to translate it is proving difficult. Trying to explain what I want to say when my teacher does not have the vocabulary in English, or the practical knowledge in her own language…tricky. This challenge led to an interesting conversation during my last session. My tutor was explaining to me that she knows about condoms because she teaches HIV/AIDS education. She is a primary school teacher. I got rather excited thinking that they actually taught sexual education in my district. WRONG. They teach HIV/AIDS education in 6th grade, but from what I gathered, there is no sexual education taught in the schools. I have been here long enough not to be surprised by this, but I have to say the logic seems faulty, teaching safe sex to kids who probably don’t even know the mechanics of it. I know there is debate even in the states about how much should be taught in schools but it seems to me that if you are going to teach about things like condoms you should probably make sure people know the basics.

On a more serious note: Recently I began reading the Twilight books. I have resisted this for a long time, but finally illness induced boredom got the better of me. Now I could go off on a shpeel about how you should be required to have a college degree to read these books so as to ensure that you don’t take them seriously, I could rage about how they completely normalize and even idolize violence in the context of romantic relationships, I could add to all of the commentary about anti-feminism and what have you, or perhaps the whole issue of forefitting your SOUL for a boy…but I won’t. Instead my mental processes have been entirely consumed with this question: Edward or Jacob? As far as personality and general attractiveness I would have to go with the werewolf. Ultimately though, I think the choice is entirely climate dependent. Living in Cambodia for a year has taught me to value cold things. So I would say Pacific Northwest Meghan is all about cuddling with a personal heater and Cambodia Meghan is all about shacking up with a walking air conditioner. In short, friends and family, this is what my brain has deteriorated to.

This past week I taught my health club about exercise. My friends at home can go ahead and keep laughing. They really did not know much of anything about how much exercise you should do or basic kinds of exercise you could do. They wanted me to demonstrate some things which was fine. We started with really basic things like sits ups and push-ups. I kid you not, these girls are itty bitty but maybe 2 out of 20 of them could actually do a sit-up. Also, I wanted to smack the lot of them because they were asking questions about how to lose weight or make their thighs smaller etc and so forth…because a 000 isn’t small enough already.

Oh dear it's been a while....

I started a health club at my site a few weeks ago for 11th grade girls. Our first class went so much better than I could have hoped. I had my lesson plans all ready and two 12th grade girls lined up to help me with the Khmer, but not knowing their level of English I was very very nervous about the potential need to teach in Khmer. At this point, almost a year in, I shouldn't worry about looking like a fool anymore, but alas, I still do! Anyhow, I could not have been more pleasantly surprised or pleased with my girls. About 20 minutes before the start of the club my one of my helpers showed up. We went through the lesson plan together, she had maybe 2 clarification questions, then jumped right up at the start of class and co-taught the whole lesson with me. I hardly had to speak Khmer at all, the girls were able to ask questions in KHmer and I was able to answer them without language confusion. We had about 40 girls who all stayed engaged the whole time and asked lots of good questions. We definitely addressed the misconception that water makes you fat and other things like why it is bad to skip meals and why sugar is not the best source of energy, etc... Overall a major success and I am excited to keep going with it for the remainder of the summer.

Some of my wierder moments of the last month: A lady in my market asked me if my mom was dead yet the other day. Not the usual "where do your parents live" or anything like that, but literally "is your mother dead yet?" Wierd. I went to my usual lunch place and this rando guy was sitting there and as soon as I walked up he said, in English, "You drink beer now," I was like...ummmm No. Then he proceded to ask me where I live, my phone number, and if I would come over to his house. I tried to ignore him then he started talking about people trying to kill him. All in English, bad English, but still. When I finally finished my food and walked home (across the street) I was oh so thankful that I don't live alone. AND the ultimate weird: I was in a car on my way into town, some random people passing through gave me a ride (sometimes that happens when I go to the taxi stand), very nice people. Anyway I was sitting in the back with some guy who knew a little English, so we were chatting in English and KHmer. It was the usual questions, "where are you from, why are you here, how long, do y ou have a husband, do you want a khmer husband..." I answered as I usually do and stated that I want an American husband to which he responded, in English, "that's good, hybrids aren't smart." He then went off on a shpeel about how Khmer people who have children with Chinese, Thai, or Vietnamese people produce inferior offspring. I could hardly believe that level of ignorance. I didnt know what to say so I just said "Wow, America is full of idiots, most of us are like 8 way hybrids." He didn't seem to know how to respond. Very few people here understand how diverse America is and that most people from America have ehtnic heritage from another place, many other places generally (most people here don't know about native Americans at all).

THis past weekend was 4th of July which I had the pleasure of spending in Phnom Penh with a majority of the PCVs currently in country. We went to a party at the embassy and it was fun to see all the decorations and hear the national anthem for the first time since our swear in. In honor of the fourth of July I would just like to say how thankful I am to have been born in America.

School's out for the summer!

There's not a whole of new going on over here just yet, but there should be soon. Next weekend I am kicking off a health club with 11th grade girls from my high school English classes. I am a little bit nervous about starting to teach in Khmer but fortunately I found two lovely, eager, 12th grade girls with good English to help me fascilitate the club. My hope is that they will gain some useful leadership experience and the other girls will benefit from a lessening in the language barrier. I continue to be amazed by many of the common misconceptions about health held by people here. Educated people even. While it baffles me it also reassures me that the project I am about to begin will be useful. For example, while I was talking with one of the girls who will be helping me teach she asked what kinds of things I would be talking about. I told her we would begin talking about good nutrition and drinking enough water. She said "oh in Cambodia we believe that drinking a lot of water will make you fat, is that wrong?"...Ummmm, YES. That is wrong! That is just one of many widely held misconceptions. Many people think that eating a lot of certain fruits will give you a fever, that you should excercise while you are sick instead of resting, and that it is good for pregnant women to skip meals so that their babies will be born small. My hope is that the club this summer will give a large number of girls really basic information on how to keep from getting sick, how to recognize common illnesses, and how to take care of themselves and others when sick or hurt.

This past week I moved into more conversation based English lessons with the nurses at the health center which has been really fun. I have reached a point where I can joke around with them in Khmer and English and usually leave at the end of the hour or so laughing. Also, my mom sent me a crockpot and it is revolutionizing my cullinary world. AND, my market got sliced bread!!

On another note, I am currently in Siem Reap taking a short weekend break to celebrate the end of the school year. We have big plans tonight to go out and watch the US vs. England World Cup game. There is something strangely comforting about watching an event that is viewed all over the world; knowing that while I am sitting in Cambodia watching the game my family in america and my brother in Korea are all sitting watching the same game. We have so few points of commonality.

Another aside: as I was sitting in my hotel room a bit ago with a fellow volunteer, spreading peanut butter and jelly on bread with a nail file, we began discussing how much more creative we have become since arriving here. After nearly a year in Cambodia I am an expert at improvising. For example, when my metal clothes rack broke apart at the hinges last week did I go buy a new one? No. I wrapped small metal wire around the broken areas to hold the bars together and then wrapped it all with medical tape. Maybe not quite like new, but it gets the job done and saved me a good $6!

WHERE'S THE NOVOCAINE?

One of the side effects of my trip to America has been a refreshed eye for the strange. Strange (by American standards) things happen all the time in Cambodia but you forget that they are strange, and forget to see the humor, after a while. For example: last weekend I went to buy a bus ticket to Siem Reap and instead ended up on a motor oil selling expedition. Before I went to visit America I would have thought nothing of it. Now I recognize that that is in fact strange.

Other things to appreciate include violent food poisoning on my birthday. Thanks Cambodia. Now in America this would be oh so depressing. In Cambodia it means an extra night in an air conditioned hotel room with wifi guilt free. Score!

On another note; this week I was in Phnom Penh for mid service medical exams. I got a clean bill of health except that the dentist told me I had SIX, cavities. I didn't believe him so I went back the next day with our Peace Corps Medical Officer and they did x-rays. I only had two cavities (much better than six) which I had to have filled. So, yesterday morning I got two fillings from a khmer dentist, without novocaine. Ouch.

Re-Adjustment

So, I generally keep my blog on the funny side, but now and again I suppose it ought to take a more serious note and reflect more of the way I believe and feel. So here goes. I returned to Cambodia about a week and a half ago, and it was hard. People keep asking me if it was difficult to come back and I have been trying to figure out how to answer. Yes, coming back here is difficult, its hard to readjust your body to the heat and the noise. But mostly it was the leaving America that was hard, not the coming back to Cambodia.

While being home with people I love was invaluable and grounding in a lot of ways it also served to remind me, once again, that spending two years in Cambodia is a sacrifice. I got to watch two of my very best friends get married (Erika and jacob!), but I don't get to be there to watch them grow as a couple, or offer the kind of day to day support we all need from those we love. I got to spend time with one of my best friends from home and her little girl (Casee and Lila!), but I dont get to be there to watch her grow. I got to see friends who are engaged (Megs, Lindsey...), but I don't get to be present for their big days. I can attempt to stay in touch, to be a support from the other side of the world, but I know it isnt the same as being there.

Spending time with my family, with friends, and mentors while I was home reminded me of who I am, who I am striving to be, what I believe, and why I am here. Now I am at a point of needing to decide how to proceed from here, not necessarily in action but in attitude. I am no evangelist, but I do strive to make decisions in my life in accordance with where I believe the Lord is directing me. I felt prompted to come to Cambodia, and now I need to wrap my mind around what that means so that I can love the people I came here to serve. I keep thinking about this song called "the road to jericho," the chorus says "if lovin were easy it wouldnt be love." That has never rung more true to me than it does here. Never in my life have been in a situation of service in which I have to work so hard to think lovingly and act lovingly. I sent a message to a good friend before I left simply asking "why am I doing this again?" and the response I got was "because the Lord chose you to be love to that nation," and I thought hmmmm....How can I be love to a place that DRIVES ME NUTTTTTTTTTS?! I have grown to care very many for many of the people I live and work with in my community, but there are also many things about Khmer culture that are difficult for me to cope with (like loud speakers and attitudes towards women). Perhpas that's what I am here to learn. How to choose to think and act lovingly when it doesn't come effortlessly.

So the gist is this; I have spent a lot of time wondering why I am here. Leaving everyone back home is easier, arguably, when you can see tangibly why you left them. I can't right now, things move so slow here. However, I came to Cambodia in full confidence that the Lord wanted me in Cambodia and I will stay here until I have full assurance that the Lord wants me somewhere else, whether I understand my reason for being here or not. In the book of Luke (9:62) it says "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the Kingdom of God," While I fail all the time to be a reflection of Christ, I want to be a woman fit for service in His kingdom. So, to those back home, I miss you, I love you, and I am so thankful for your support, and I continue to need your encouragment. I will continue to love you and miss you for as long as I am gone, but I "put my hand to a plow" so to speak and I will keep moving forward until directed not to. Now I think it's time to get back to site and get my A$$ in gear.

Much Love.

Airport Diary

me and my dad dancing at his wedding


Erika and her bridesmaids


So I am now back in Cambodia after a 2.5 week trip to America and would like to regale you all with tales of my air travel.

On my way to America I took a 6+ hour bus ride down to Phnom Penh from my site (in the NW of Cambodia for those of you unaware) to arrive at the airport 4 hours before my flight. In America that’s no big deal. You check in and then proceed through security and go hang out at some fine dining facility or something while you wait for you flight. In Cambodia it’s a bit trickier. You cannot check in at the ticket counters until about 1.5 hours before your flight. Now for those of you unable to do simple addition/subtraction, that means I had 2.5 hours to kill in ticketing. Had I been in a different state of mind, the ordeal might have been irksome. However, the airport has free wifi and air conditioning so I was HAPPY (they even have toilet paper praise Jesus).

As I was sitting there at ticketing in the Phnom Penh airport facebook stalking some of you fine people, a group of airport security and immigration officers began to accumulate around me. After some time they spotted my profile picture (which was me with my host sister in khmer wedding clothes) and started asking questions. They were very excited that I knew Khmer and we chatted for a good hour. It was, to be truthful, a bit obnoxious. I just wanted to check my email and enjoy the all too infrequent fast wireless access. However, I was soon to find that it pays to be nice, and apparently to know Khmer. When it was finally time to go to the ticket counter one of the immigration officers took my passport and filled out all of my departure information, then escorted me through the first class line for ticketing, he then took me through the diplomats and officials line of passport control, he went with me through security, and then carried my bags to my gate. While none of this was at all necessary, it certainly expedited the process and made for a good laugh.

On my way back from America I had the pleasure of transiting through Shanghai. Barefoot. Let me preface this story by stating that I now harbor great animosity towards the Shanghai Airport as a facility but do not extend this displeasure to those individuals employed within the facility. So, I left Seattle early Tuesday morning with a lot of tears and last phone calls to friends and family. I got on a plane and flew a couple hours to San Francisco. By the time I made it to California I had calmed down for the most part. I was still rather sad but had pulled myself together. That was until, in the process of hauling a$$ to my gate, my shoe broke. My really expensive, supposed to last forever, chaco shoe broke. This would not be a big deal if I was traveling within America. While home, I spent a week down in Oregon, had my shoe broken then I would have just fetched one of the other 15 pairs I had in the back of my car. In route back to Cambodia, however, I had one pair of shoes. Fortunately I was stable enough at that point to recognize the humor of it. Being barefoot in an airport isn’t all that bad. I got on the plane, shoe-less, and flew 13.5 hours to Shanghai. This brings me to my bitter tirade about the Shanghai airport. It makes ZERO sense. It is not at all logical. It does not have good signs/direction indicators, and it’s a royal pain. Here’s a hint for anyone transiting through Shanghai in the future. Do not follow the signs that say “international transfers/departures” they are lying. You actually have to follow the “domestic arrivals” signs even though you are never leaving the airport. Once you follow the domestic arrivals sign you will have the pleasure of going through a health check (you know so you don’t contaminate the outside-of-the-airport-China you have no intention of visiting), then passport control and immigration to being questioned by multiple individuals about why you don’t have an address and phone number, or visa for a country you have no intention of visiting. Then, you get to collect your checked baggage and go through customs only to go through ticketing, then back through passport control, back through customs, and back through security. Does this make sense to anyone? This whole ordeal was made great only by the fact that I did it all barefoot. I looked around too, I was definitely the only person without shoes. The two saving graces are as follows: 1) I wandered into a little shop and a nice woman helped me purchase some hot pink silk slippers so that I would at least have some manner of footwear when I arrived in Cambodia. 2) Somehow in all of this craziness I ended up with a first class seat I certainly didn’t ask for and definitely didn’t pay for. So, to the man at the ticket counter who gave me a boarding pass to first class; my sincere thanks Sir.

My two weeks at home were wonderful. The opportunity to spend time with my family and friends was invaluable and I am so thankful I was able to be present for my dad’s wedding and able to be in my best friend’s wedding. Now I just have to figure out how to get back into the swing of things here!

Bedazzling

I always tend to end up at random events with my school director and co-teachers with roughly 20 minutes to an hour notice. I ended up at the equivalent to a house warming party earlier this month after having a meeting with my school director to discuss my ideas for the rest of the school year and summer. As this event was rather far away I was picked up by the vice director in his car. I did not know before-hand, but soon learned that riding in a car is an appropriate justification for getting drunk. If only I had known that during my college years… Anyway I got to the housewarming party and this time, for a nice change of pace, there was actually another woman at the table! After a short amount of time the cheers began and cans of beer kept appearing before me. When I began to indicate that I had no intention of drinking more I heard the new justification “DRINK!!!!! YOU ARE RIDING IN A CAR…FROM THE BOTTOM TO THE TOP FROM THE BOTTOM TO THE TOP!” There are three factors thus far that have ensured my safety and sobriety in such instances 1) I can drink more than they expect without effect, 2) Khmer people think that getting red in the face is a sign of drunkenness and drunkness is an appropriate excuse to cease consumption. As an inevitable side effect of my white-ness I turn red when it is hot, and Cambodia is REALLY hot, so I pretty much look drunk anytime I am in a party tent crammed with people, and 3) I can always count on one of my co-teachers to tell everyone that I am plastered so they won’t try to make me drink more. These factors may not bode well for my reputation in the long run (depending on who you ask!) but alas, I will continue to be able to leave parties standing :)

Shortly after the housewarming party I went to a wedding with my host family. They graciously gave me plenty more than 20 minutes notice. As I do not yet have wedding clothes I had one of my host sisters help me select a suitable outfit. This however proved unnecessary. I got bedazzled. Literally, From the top of my head down to the ankles. When we arrived at the restaurant where the wedding was to be held I was quickly ushered into a hut where the women in my host family were gathered for hair and makeup. They thought it would be super fun to dress me up. I confess, it was super fun/hilarious. I had my makeup done more or less the same way my host sister (who was a bridesmaid) had hers done. I however am white, SO, dark purple, hot pink, and black eye-shadow, paired with heavily penciled eye brows, fake eyelashes, and hot pink blush, make me look… well… different. I was fully prepared to walk around with my facepaint whilst sporting my western attire but my family had other plans. First they changed out my normal jewelry for bling, including diamond rings, earrings, necklace, and a gold charm bracelet. Again I was content to sport my half-3/4 khmer-ness but the family would not have it. They brought extra wedding clothes for me to complete the look. Once I was fully bedazzled my yay promptly stationed me at the entrance with the wedding party to greet the guests. It was pretty amusing, made for some good photo ops, and a lot of double takes.

I have been particularly accident prone this month. My best move was perhaps when I was relocating with a sewing project and somehow managed to put a needle about a third of the way through my hand. I had fun explaining the bruise that filled most of my palm the following week or so. Shortly after that I gave myself some mild electrocution with my mosquito zapper. Ouch.

On quite a different note; the next time I update this I will be in America. Only for a couple of weeks, but still...weird.

Catastrophes and Tiger Balm

This week I had a catastrophe. Now, on the whole these days I am doing quite well. On a day in and day out basis I feel quite content in my general surroundings and have very little cause for complaint. My one big issue with this country remains noise. Cambodia is loud. I told this to one of my co-teachers recently and was rather startled to see his confusion. He actually told me that he thought Cambodia to be a quiet and tranquil place. Surely this is because he has never been anywhere else, and having been raised here he does not register the cacophony that is this country. I do not think I have gone a single day in this country without some period of time filled with music, speeches, or chanting monks being played over loud speakers with very bad sound quality. Thus, when my i-pod died I was beyond distraught. I actually cried. It was inconceivable to me that I could continue living in this country without it! I am glad to report, however, that my father took pity on me and aided me in buying a new one. Sanity restored. Crisis averted.

The last several weeks have been fairly uneventful otherwise. I have had very little school due to exams and grading of exams and holidays and so forth. My host "sister" was visiting from Phnom Penh over Chinese New Year and that was a lot of fun. She is close to my age and knows a fair amount of english so I had a great time with her. It was also helpful in learning things about the family. For example, I finally figured out where Foo came from and why he lives with his Yays. I learned that our neighbors may or may not be peeping toms. That was a fun conversation. "Cher, my grandmother says maybe you be careful in your room because the neighbors are not so polite." WHAT!? I also learned that Khmer people think airconditioning gives them acne. I find this hilarious since Americans in Cambodia think a lack of AC gives them acne, but alas, both may be true.

Now for some of the "bests" over the last couple weeks:

Best moment at site: I was teaching english at the health center and the nurses were trying to get me to eat some treats. I told them I would only eat one because I want my clothes to fit when I go back to America to visit in April. I then told them I need to exercise more. They then dragged me into a back room where they pre-natal check-ups and turned on the tv. As it turns out that had recently recieved a "Salsa-cise" dance work out video which they are now doing twice a day monday through friday. It was one of the most hilarious things I have seen in this country. I fully intend to begin salsa-cising regularly when I get back to site (I am in PP right now for in service training).

Best PC Staff moment: I will have to give a little background on this one. Khmer people LOVE tiger balm. For those of you who may not know –Tiger balm is a menthol-esque chap-stick like substance that people use for all kinds of purposes. We barangs use it primarily to lessen the itch of mosquito bites and occasionally for blocked sinuses and headaches (a little tiger balm on the temples or under the nose…) Khmer people however, use it for any ailment you might imagine. We all joke with each other about this. When someone has a medical problem or an injury or something the immediate response from one of us is usually “oh did you put tiger balm on it?” You might think this is an exaggeration but a quote from this week’s in service training proves that it is not. We were discussing safety and security concerns and road safety was one of the topics brought up. We got onto the topic of what to do if you are in an accident or view an accident. One of our staff members started suggesting steps of things to do if you witness an accident where someone is injured. It went something like this: “First maybe you move the person out of the middle of the road. Then maybe you see if you can get anything to help them, like if they need some tiger balm.” I don’t think we all meant to laugh. But we all did. It was just so perfect.

Best text messages of the week: “sister, what do Sunbunny and Snowbaby mean?” Or "Sister, what is a meat pie?"

Some big events...

A couple of weeks ago I was hanging out in my room drawing a picture (since that’s what I do these days) and my little sisters came up and told me I should go outside because their grandmother wants to know me. I was confused since I was fairly sure I was living with their grandmother. It was however, another grandmother, one that lives about 30K north of us. It was a good opportunity for me to spend some time with the family, and one of the visitors spoke good English and was able to translate some questions my Yays (grandmothers) had. The most impressive part was that I went through a 45 minute conversation in Khmer without a single person asking me if I had a husband or boyfriend. That has got to be some kind of record for a first meeting.

I was sitting in the teacher “lounge” at school a couple weeks ago minding my own business when one of my co-teachers informed me that my school director wanted me to attend a wedding with him roughly 45 minutes later. I figured hey, free lunch, why not?! So I ended up going, in my teaching clothes, to this wedding with my school director and about 9 other Khmer men from my school. Details of this event are perhaps unnecessary; I think the overview will suffice. In the course of lunch I have no idea how many beers were poured into my glass while my head was turned. What I do know is that eating a whole duck with chopsticks is difficult without alcohol in your system but virtually impossible with it and when people start yelling “FROM THE BOTTOM TO THE TOP” at you in Khmer, it is time to go home! My heart-felt apologies to all disappointed staff of TK High School, I do not chug. (for the record though, it was a lot of fun and a good opportunity to build relationships with the male-dominant staff of the school at which I teach)

Recently a couple of members of our Peace Corps Medical staff visited me at my site just to check things out and get some paperwork done. This turned out to be a pretty eventful visit. For starters it gave me an opportunity to communicate some things with my host family. I really love the family that I live with, but I also spend a lot of time by myself. This can be misconstrued in this culture as a lack of regard for the family. I wanted to make sure they knew that I really care about their family and am very happy with the living situation. It was nice to be able to communicate this and receive reciprocated assertions of the families regard for me. It was just a comfort to know that they enjoyed having me there and did not doubt my appreciation and affection for their family. In addition, during this trip I found out some interesting facts about the family. Most interestingly I found out that they are from Phnom Penh originally but came to Battambang during the forced evacuation of Phnom Penh during the Khmer Rouge. They stayed up north because there was so much rice! During this visit I was also able to ask a lot of questions at the health center about what issues they encountered most and that evening I was able to watch a delivery with two of the nurses from my health center. It was totally cool, but I might choose never to pro-create after watching it!

This past weekend I decided to embark on an epic journey. I decided to take a trip to Phnom Penh with my host family. Now I will start off by explaining that many of us laugh at the way many Khmer people travel. It is not all efficient. Usually in route to a given destination the bus will stop at least twice as often as necessary at some rest stop like area or another. It was really amusing for me to travel with my host family because they are the reason the bus stops so often. They packed huge amounts of food with them for the 6+ hour bus trip, and yet every time the bus stopped they got off and bought more food.

While in Phnom Penh we stayed with some extended family and all went out to dinner together the first night. I sort of thought we were going somewhere special because the whole family bathed and put on good clothes before leaving. As it turned out, the special dinner out was at a fast food fried chicken place in the “super market” (ie: SORYA mall) It was actually really fun eating American food with my Khmer family. We also took a brief trip to the arcade where I was reminded yet again that children are roughly the same everywhere. The next day was the big event.

We left around 12:00p for the water park and returned to the house just before 6:00p. It was exhausting but so much fun. I got to spend the whole afternoon going down water slides, giving mini swimming lessons, and just playing with my little khmer sisters (breakdown: I live with the mother of one of my health center nurses. I went to Phnom Penh with the nurse, her husband, their two daughters and two nieces. Also with us at the water park was the older sister of two of the girls, and her best friend, as well as two other kids whose relation to the family I am not sure of!) It was great to have that time with the family, especially the 4 girls that live with me (well, technically next to me). It was also really fun to spend time with two girls closer to my age (both were 19) who are studying fields I am interested in (pharmacology and nursing I think) in Phnom Penh. In addition, it was really fun watching the reactions of people when they saw me and then realized who I was with. I had two favorite moments during this afternoon. The first was my little sisters yelling “CHER! BARANG TIET!” which translates to “Teacher! More foreigners” excitedly whenever we saw another white person. The second and best was this: on one of many trips down the big water slide some guy went down the slide too soon after one of the older girls and kicked her pretty hard. She was not happy about this, so when she saw him getting ready to go down the slide again she waited at the bottom then racked him over the head with an inner tube. I have rarely seen any feisty move from a young Khmer woman and this one took the cake. It made me really happy. The security guard (not lifeguard…security guard…at the pool in full uniform watching the water slide) also found it quite comical.

This past week was exam week. It was very relaxed and gave me ample opportunity to think about projects for next semester and begin planning how the next several months might go.

AND text of the week: "I can't help it, I'm a sucker for drunk women who saunter up to me at four on tuesday and remind me that they can make me 'happy happy.'"

Everybody must happy happy

Highlights of the week:
1)While I am beyond sad that Katie is leaving, our trip to Angkor Wat was definitely a highlight of my service to date. Now, had I gone to Angkor Wat 5 or so months ago when I first arrived in Cambodia, the day would likely have looked different. We would probably have enjoyed the anonymity of being in a sea of foreigners, and felt very much at home with them, we would likely have had a strict itinerary and stuck to it, we would likely have gotten annoyed when our driver stopped at random places we did not ask to stop at, and we probably would have been completely overwhelmed by the children trying to sell us stuff. As it was we ended up spending a good portion of our trip to Angkor Wat talking to kids about when they went to school, where they went to school, and why they were not currently getting ready for school. I spent a good chunk of time over my morning coffee helping an 11th grade Khmer boy with his English homework. We spent a good amount of time meandering through random temples we had no intention of stopping at, we took lots of obnoxious photos with complete disregard for silly things like ropes, and we both felt completely overwhelmed by the sheer number of foreigners.

2)After receiving several Christmas packages (thanks to all who sent them!) I have a new appreciation for exfoliating soap. In America I never really understood the appeal of exfoliating soap. I mean I got it in principle but I did not appreciate it. I received a bar of exfoliating soap in a package of miscellaneous goodies from my aunt Kris and my grandma, and I have to say that bathing with said bar of soap left me feeling perhaps the cleanest I have felt in this country. Dirt has a way of getting into your pores and the creases in your skin here so that you can bathe and still rub dirt off of yourself. Not so with the exfoliating soap. This handy item also provides mosquito bite relief while bathing. So, a special thanks to my aunt and grandma, and anyone who wants to send me exfoliating soap in the future is more than encouraged to do so :)

3)Favorite Foo moment: I was sitting on a table outside my house watching TV with the fam when Foo (the 2 year old) spit into a small toy (kind of looked like a little plastic drum with one of the sides missing) and handed it to me. I took it and looked at him and he stared up at me with his tiny little adorable Khmer child face and said “niam at?” which loosely translates to “are you gonna eat it?” Thanks Foo, but no. I think I will pass on eating spitty plastic toys.

4)Favorite quote of the week: After church last Sunday one of the members of the congregation who knows pretty good English asked if I wanted him to tell me what the pastor had been preaching on. I said yes and he began to break down the message which was on Philippians 4:4-7. He helped me translate a bunch of stuff into Khmer and talked about the points the pastor had made about them but the best one was this: his summary of Philippians 4:6, “God says dear brother sister, everybody you must happy happy.” Now the pure simplification of this is funny but I think you may need to live here to fully appreciate the humor in this. Another volunteer here recently asked some Khmer people why they listened to music over loud speakers SO ridiculously LOUD so often and the response was “Kampuchea jole jchet supbai supbai” which translates to “Cambodia likes happy happy.” So of course God would command all of the brothers and sisters to be happy happy.

5)Text message of the week: "Uh Vatana just called me about stool samples. Maybe I don't want to et (early terminate) afterall..."

A couple more serious notes: I had a b it of a heart wrenching moment at school this week. There is a grade 9 boy at my school who appears to have cerebral palsy. I have seen him around all year and have asked all the teachers who speak English what his disability is and no one seems to know. They always just tell me that he cannot speak but he can learn. The other day I was sitting with one of the teachers at my school and this student walked up with a note asking her to ask me whether we have people “the same as” him in America. I know it is beyond anything I can understand or identify with, and difficult anywhere, but I cannot imagine how hard it must be to be like him in a place where the majority of people do not understand much if anything about it. To not even know if there are other people around the world who are experiencing life in the same way he is. It does present an interesting issue as far as the importance of names goes. We are so focused in the western world on what a condition is called. We want to know what we have. It isn’t enough to just recognize the traits exhibited and address those; we need to have a label to smack on it. While it has been confusing for me that no one here seems to have names for such things, in some ways it does not seem to matter. They recognize what his abilities are and have found ways to work with them thus allowing him to get to get an education as a non-verbal teenager. It’s pretty impressive!

On a sad note; my closest friend here has decided to go back to the states. There were a number of things that played into her decision and while I will certainly miss her I think that her leaving holds some important lessons. Katie has many qualities, not the least of which is a huge giving heart for other people that made her an awesome volunteer. However, there is an economy to time and every time you make a decision to do something, you are intrinsically making a decision not to do something else. If in the things you are doing you find that you cannot be at your best, than perhaps your time can be better given, and your life a greater service to others, in a context in which you can be your best. There are certainly trials in most anything you put your hand to but learning to assess whether those trials are growing your character or breaking your spirit is an important lesson and knowing when to push through and when to say enough is invaluable.

I thought I would start off my first blog entry of 2010 with a list of resolutions for the year. That way you all can call me out on them :) :

1)Be better at life. Pretty general. More specifically I want to be more bold about seeking out resources and pursuing projects/opportunities in my community. I want to be more enthusiastic about teaching crappy curriculum to students who could not care less half the time. I want to work on finding a good balance between caring for myself and giving of myself for the sake of the people I came here to serve.

2)Learn to resist the RAGE that boils up in me whenever there is a “biti” (celebration) in town. I hate loud speakers, but I have got to learn to fight the BITI RAGE.

3)Grow out my finger nails. I say it EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Never happens. Oh well, lets try again 2010.

4)Vomit less. I want to learn to master my slightly inane tendency to become ill when extremely nervous or emotionally stressed. Not sure if this is physically possible, but I am going to give it a go. I give anxiety too much of a stronghold in my daily life.

Now for a short list of favorites:
1)Favorite slogan: “It’s America time!” Miller Beer

2)Favorite question from a co-teacher: “What do you call it in English when you stand in a line a put one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of you? What do you call it when you stand with your hand behind your back and one foot forward?” I have also been asked rather important burning questions like “what is a magnetron tube, duvet cover, corn dog, caramel corn, safety product recall, etc…”

3)Favorite misuse of the English language: One of the teachers at my school does not understand that the word “especially” is meant to go with an adjective. That outfit is especially pretty. You look especially nice today. Etc… She uses it like an adjective itself and I refuse to correct it because it makes me unreasonably happy when I hear phrases like “your hair looks especially today” or “beyonce dances especially.”

4)Favorite conversation with a stranger: This is a toss up. Both come from New Years in Siem Reap. We had a great time (me and a group of female volunteers) in the market in Siem Reap shopping for dresses for new years eve. There are a ton of tourists there so it is especially (haha) shocking when a foreigner speaks some Khmer. We of course had fun with this and made friends with lots of the sellers in the market. My favorite conversation was with a woman I bought a dress from who spent a good while convincing me that it was okay to buy this rather short tight dress because “sexy girl ok Siem Reap.” I told her where I actually live and she laughed and kindly informed me that maybe “sexy girl not okay battambang, but ok New Year Siem Reap." She also more than cut the prince of the dress in half when she found out I lived in Cambodia. Nice bonus. That night we were out at a fine drinking establishment known as “Angkor What” celebrating the new year when a random norweigan man asked me if he had seen me in the market earlier. I said yes probably, and he inquired whether I knew Khmer. I said yes a little, and his response was “that’s hot.” Another group of guys informed us that being in the Peace Corps is also “hot.” Who knew?

5)Favorite host family moments: I came downstairs the other day and my little sisters/nieces I guess, had tied leggos to the bottom of their shoes and were “ice skating” on a wooden table top. It was precious. They then serenaded me with a number of English songs they had learned in school. Foo, the 2 year old, is one of my favorite humans. This week my favorite Foo moments included him getting PISSED that I cannot understand his tiny little voice, him crying when we left for English class at the health center (me, one of my health center nurses, and the 4 girls), and coming outside in the morning to find Foo squatting on the side of the main highway in Cambodia outside the family shop taking care of business. This phased no one.