Happy Merry Christmas and a Whole lot of Change

So I moved. I refrained from writing about it until the issue had resolved itself. Now, after two months, it finally has. As you all know, I really enjoyed the family I was placed with at my permanent site. There was just one big problem. My bedroom did not have real walls. Two of them were plastic siding that you couldnt even lean on and didn't even block out light, least of all noise. One of them was actually a curtain which separated my room from a drop off into the living room below. This also was not so great for sound proofing. While I loved the family it became more and more difficult to continue living with them with no means to get away and have a retreat from the constant noise of living with a large family. When I began realizing how much it was effecting my sleep and health, I realized a change would be necessary. This is something I felt a large amount of anxiety and guilt about. Not only did I want to avoid offending the family and be able to maintain relationships with them but I was also battling feelings of failure and selfishness that I just could not maintain my sanity, health, and happiness in that living situation. Slowly but surely I have come to make peace with the fact that I do have needs and that is okay. I don't need lush accomodation. I do not need running water or toilet paper. I can do without TV and internet. Etc...and so forth. But, I need to have space to think. I need a quiet space to get away to. That is not something I will ever be able to compromise and stay healthy. And that is okay.

I moved a few days before Christmas into a home with two yays (grandmothers) and a 2 year old boy. I live next door to one of my health center nurses and 4 darling girls (8-12). The space I have been provided to live in is large, clean, and lovely, and most importantly, peaceful. My new family has made me feel welcomed into their home. They even had a surprise "welcome to the family" dinner party for me my first night there. I feel so fortunate to finally have this issue resolved in such a positive way and feel ready to really dig in after the holidays.

My first Christmas away from home was spent with Jayne, one of my closest friends from the states. We spent Christmas eve with another volunteer at my site then headed into Phnom Penh on Christmas afternoon. We spent some quality time eating cheese and crackers watching really bad Christmas TV movies then proceded to meet up with some other PCVs for dinner and drinks. I can honesly say it was my first Christmas at a night club experience. As much as I missed my home and my family during the holiday it was a huge blessing to have Jayne here and it was great to finally have "lock down" over so that we could meet up with other volunteers for a few days of R&R.

Now back to the real world. Well until New Years :)