Some days are tougher than others...

I try and keep this thing upbeat for anyone who is reading it, but every once in a while I think it is important to write about some of the harsher realities of this place I am living. Today we spent the day visiting organizations working with people living with HIV in Battambang. The morning got off to an amusing start as we sat in on an education session for married couples on preventing HIV transmission. The educator showed cartoon drawings of different scenarios which may or may not lead to the transmission of HIV. People here don't really discuss anything sexual, so it was somewhat amusing to watch how awkward they got, and how hard they laughed at some of the pictures. This is also disconcerting as Cambodia, among other Southeast Asian countries, has a high rate of HIV and other STI's. We tend to take for granted the knowledge that is made available to us in our culture about the risks associated with sexual activity and how to protect ourselves.

The second stop we made was to visit a rural support group for people who are living with HIV. The aim was to provide a safe environment for people to discuss their health and any challenges they are facing. We were greeted warmly by a group who eagerly answered our questions.

Later in the day we met with two NGOs who work as advocates for individuals with HIV to ensure that they are being treated fairly by health care providers and receiving the resources they need to get through day to day life. At the end of the visit they took us on what we thought would be a tour of the Battambang referral hospital. What it ended up being was a visit to the hospital wing where HIV+ patients essentially go to die. I don't think I can really describe what we saw except to say the way they were described to us; "she is 19, her parents are dead, she has HIV and a brain tumor"..."she took the medicine but had an allergic reaction"..."he was taking the medication, but then he gave up." What they all had in common was HIV and not a lot of time left. At hospitals here the family is responsible for caring for the patient making it blatantly obvious who either hasn't got family or has been abandoned by their family. There was such a huge disparity between the people we had seen earlier in the day, people who were living and fighting, and these people who we witnessed in abject suffering. It was a difficult reality to face and I am still sorting out my own thoughts about it. The only thing I can say for sure now is that in a lot of ways it was a grounding reminder of why I am here. There is need everywhere and if at the end of two years all I can say is that I built relationships with and participated in the lives of some of those people...maybe that is enough.