Babies don't grow in the vagina...

On Sunday I taught a lesson on reproductive health focusing primarily on birth control methods and how they work. I don’t think I have ever said “egg and sperm” so many times in the course of an hour. I spent a lot of time explaining things we think of as very basic, like fertilization, and the fact that the vagina and uterus are not the same thing. They only giggled a little bit when I drew a penis on the board. On Monday and Tuesday a friend of mine came from Battambang to do a workshop on female health and hygiene with my girls. Khmer women, especially high school aged, tend to be very shy about these topics so I wasn’t sure how it would be received. I was pleasantly surprised though. I had 20 girls show up for the two day workshop. They not only showed up but participated, answered questions when asked, and asked a lot of their own questions. I was very proud of them. I had two favorite moments. The first was when Meghan and her Khmer counterparts were teaching about good hygiene before sex. They asked the girls if they had any ideas about this and one of my students suggested that “taking off your clothes” is good pre-sex hygiene. Not sure how much it has to do with sanitation, but hey, it’s a good idea anyway! Later they were answering questions that my students wrote at our last health club meeting. One of the questions was about what they could do to be more beautiful. In response to this question Meghan’s main Khmer counterpart suggested things like exercising, eating well, bathing often, etc… but her last bit of advice was “you should have an orgasm every day because when you feel good you look good!” Now in America I would not advocate saying something like that to a bunch of teenage girls. But here, it’s a different story. It is highly unlikely that unmarried girls here will be doing anything sexual, so statements like that wouldn’t be perceived as encouraging promiscuous, unsafe, or even immoral behavior. Even in married women though, sexuality tends to be incredibly repressed. It is rarely looked upon as something that should be pleasurable for a woman, and the concept of fore-play doesn’t really exist, which brings with it a whole truckload of related problems. So to have a married Khmer woman openly talking about enjoying sex is AWESOME. AWESOME and funny.

On another amusing note; I have written about the “crazy lady” at my school before. I will recap though. There is a mentally ill woman in my community who thinks she is a teacher. She shows up at the school every day, in teaching clothes (button down blouse and a floor length skirt called a sampot), carrying a notebook, and wanders into classrooms talking nonsense. She seems to think I am interesting or something because she shows up at least once in just about every class I teach. I didn’t think to warn Meghan about her, and during the workshop she just wandered in and started telling a story about a relative in Battambang who had just gotten engaged. It reminded me that where we are from that would never every happen. In a way I appreciate that it does here. She fits into the fabric of the community so much more easily here than she would where I am from where she would either be viewed as an unacceptable disruption or a danger.

MISC.

This week I had the pleasure of explaining to my khmer tutor that sperm and bacteria are not the same thing.

So, I am prepping this lesson on reproductive health. Really basic stuff; these are the kinds of birth control available, here is how they work, these ones are the best, etc… I doubt that any of my girls actually need this information but many of them will probably be married soon so I figure I might as well give them the info now. My Khmer tutor was helping me to go through the lesson and translate it. Even though I have help with translating the lessons while I teach them, I try to make sure I at least understand the basics of the language necessary so I will know if there is a major mistranslation. This particular topic is proving to be a challenge, not because I am shy about teaching it, but because getting someone to translate it is proving difficult. Trying to explain what I want to say when my teacher does not have the vocabulary in English, or the practical knowledge in her own language…tricky. This challenge led to an interesting conversation during my last session. My tutor was explaining to me that she knows about condoms because she teaches HIV/AIDS education. She is a primary school teacher. I got rather excited thinking that they actually taught sexual education in my district. WRONG. They teach HIV/AIDS education in 6th grade, but from what I gathered, there is no sexual education taught in the schools. I have been here long enough not to be surprised by this, but I have to say the logic seems faulty, teaching safe sex to kids who probably don’t even know the mechanics of it. I know there is debate even in the states about how much should be taught in schools but it seems to me that if you are going to teach about things like condoms you should probably make sure people know the basics.

On a more serious note: Recently I began reading the Twilight books. I have resisted this for a long time, but finally illness induced boredom got the better of me. Now I could go off on a shpeel about how you should be required to have a college degree to read these books so as to ensure that you don’t take them seriously, I could rage about how they completely normalize and even idolize violence in the context of romantic relationships, I could add to all of the commentary about anti-feminism and what have you, or perhaps the whole issue of forefitting your SOUL for a boy…but I won’t. Instead my mental processes have been entirely consumed with this question: Edward or Jacob? As far as personality and general attractiveness I would have to go with the werewolf. Ultimately though, I think the choice is entirely climate dependent. Living in Cambodia for a year has taught me to value cold things. So I would say Pacific Northwest Meghan is all about cuddling with a personal heater and Cambodia Meghan is all about shacking up with a walking air conditioner. In short, friends and family, this is what my brain has deteriorated to.

This past week I taught my health club about exercise. My friends at home can go ahead and keep laughing. They really did not know much of anything about how much exercise you should do or basic kinds of exercise you could do. They wanted me to demonstrate some things which was fine. We started with really basic things like sits ups and push-ups. I kid you not, these girls are itty bitty but maybe 2 out of 20 of them could actually do a sit-up. Also, I wanted to smack the lot of them because they were asking questions about how to lose weight or make their thighs smaller etc and so forth…because a 000 isn’t small enough already.

Oh dear it's been a while....

I started a health club at my site a few weeks ago for 11th grade girls. Our first class went so much better than I could have hoped. I had my lesson plans all ready and two 12th grade girls lined up to help me with the Khmer, but not knowing their level of English I was very very nervous about the potential need to teach in Khmer. At this point, almost a year in, I shouldn't worry about looking like a fool anymore, but alas, I still do! Anyhow, I could not have been more pleasantly surprised or pleased with my girls. About 20 minutes before the start of the club my one of my helpers showed up. We went through the lesson plan together, she had maybe 2 clarification questions, then jumped right up at the start of class and co-taught the whole lesson with me. I hardly had to speak Khmer at all, the girls were able to ask questions in KHmer and I was able to answer them without language confusion. We had about 40 girls who all stayed engaged the whole time and asked lots of good questions. We definitely addressed the misconception that water makes you fat and other things like why it is bad to skip meals and why sugar is not the best source of energy, etc... Overall a major success and I am excited to keep going with it for the remainder of the summer.

Some of my wierder moments of the last month: A lady in my market asked me if my mom was dead yet the other day. Not the usual "where do your parents live" or anything like that, but literally "is your mother dead yet?" Wierd. I went to my usual lunch place and this rando guy was sitting there and as soon as I walked up he said, in English, "You drink beer now," I was like...ummmm No. Then he proceded to ask me where I live, my phone number, and if I would come over to his house. I tried to ignore him then he started talking about people trying to kill him. All in English, bad English, but still. When I finally finished my food and walked home (across the street) I was oh so thankful that I don't live alone. AND the ultimate weird: I was in a car on my way into town, some random people passing through gave me a ride (sometimes that happens when I go to the taxi stand), very nice people. Anyway I was sitting in the back with some guy who knew a little English, so we were chatting in English and KHmer. It was the usual questions, "where are you from, why are you here, how long, do y ou have a husband, do you want a khmer husband..." I answered as I usually do and stated that I want an American husband to which he responded, in English, "that's good, hybrids aren't smart." He then went off on a shpeel about how Khmer people who have children with Chinese, Thai, or Vietnamese people produce inferior offspring. I could hardly believe that level of ignorance. I didnt know what to say so I just said "Wow, America is full of idiots, most of us are like 8 way hybrids." He didn't seem to know how to respond. Very few people here understand how diverse America is and that most people from America have ehtnic heritage from another place, many other places generally (most people here don't know about native Americans at all).

THis past weekend was 4th of July which I had the pleasure of spending in Phnom Penh with a majority of the PCVs currently in country. We went to a party at the embassy and it was fun to see all the decorations and hear the national anthem for the first time since our swear in. In honor of the fourth of July I would just like to say how thankful I am to have been born in America.

School's out for the summer!

There's not a whole of new going on over here just yet, but there should be soon. Next weekend I am kicking off a health club with 11th grade girls from my high school English classes. I am a little bit nervous about starting to teach in Khmer but fortunately I found two lovely, eager, 12th grade girls with good English to help me fascilitate the club. My hope is that they will gain some useful leadership experience and the other girls will benefit from a lessening in the language barrier. I continue to be amazed by many of the common misconceptions about health held by people here. Educated people even. While it baffles me it also reassures me that the project I am about to begin will be useful. For example, while I was talking with one of the girls who will be helping me teach she asked what kinds of things I would be talking about. I told her we would begin talking about good nutrition and drinking enough water. She said "oh in Cambodia we believe that drinking a lot of water will make you fat, is that wrong?"...Ummmm, YES. That is wrong! That is just one of many widely held misconceptions. Many people think that eating a lot of certain fruits will give you a fever, that you should excercise while you are sick instead of resting, and that it is good for pregnant women to skip meals so that their babies will be born small. My hope is that the club this summer will give a large number of girls really basic information on how to keep from getting sick, how to recognize common illnesses, and how to take care of themselves and others when sick or hurt.

This past week I moved into more conversation based English lessons with the nurses at the health center which has been really fun. I have reached a point where I can joke around with them in Khmer and English and usually leave at the end of the hour or so laughing. Also, my mom sent me a crockpot and it is revolutionizing my cullinary world. AND, my market got sliced bread!!

On another note, I am currently in Siem Reap taking a short weekend break to celebrate the end of the school year. We have big plans tonight to go out and watch the US vs. England World Cup game. There is something strangely comforting about watching an event that is viewed all over the world; knowing that while I am sitting in Cambodia watching the game my family in america and my brother in Korea are all sitting watching the same game. We have so few points of commonality.

Another aside: as I was sitting in my hotel room a bit ago with a fellow volunteer, spreading peanut butter and jelly on bread with a nail file, we began discussing how much more creative we have become since arriving here. After nearly a year in Cambodia I am an expert at improvising. For example, when my metal clothes rack broke apart at the hinges last week did I go buy a new one? No. I wrapped small metal wire around the broken areas to hold the bars together and then wrapped it all with medical tape. Maybe not quite like new, but it gets the job done and saved me a good $6!

WHERE'S THE NOVOCAINE?

One of the side effects of my trip to America has been a refreshed eye for the strange. Strange (by American standards) things happen all the time in Cambodia but you forget that they are strange, and forget to see the humor, after a while. For example: last weekend I went to buy a bus ticket to Siem Reap and instead ended up on a motor oil selling expedition. Before I went to visit America I would have thought nothing of it. Now I recognize that that is in fact strange.

Other things to appreciate include violent food poisoning on my birthday. Thanks Cambodia. Now in America this would be oh so depressing. In Cambodia it means an extra night in an air conditioned hotel room with wifi guilt free. Score!

On another note; this week I was in Phnom Penh for mid service medical exams. I got a clean bill of health except that the dentist told me I had SIX, cavities. I didn't believe him so I went back the next day with our Peace Corps Medical Officer and they did x-rays. I only had two cavities (much better than six) which I had to have filled. So, yesterday morning I got two fillings from a khmer dentist, without novocaine. Ouch.

Re-Adjustment

So, I generally keep my blog on the funny side, but now and again I suppose it ought to take a more serious note and reflect more of the way I believe and feel. So here goes. I returned to Cambodia about a week and a half ago, and it was hard. People keep asking me if it was difficult to come back and I have been trying to figure out how to answer. Yes, coming back here is difficult, its hard to readjust your body to the heat and the noise. But mostly it was the leaving America that was hard, not the coming back to Cambodia.

While being home with people I love was invaluable and grounding in a lot of ways it also served to remind me, once again, that spending two years in Cambodia is a sacrifice. I got to watch two of my very best friends get married (Erika and jacob!), but I don't get to be there to watch them grow as a couple, or offer the kind of day to day support we all need from those we love. I got to spend time with one of my best friends from home and her little girl (Casee and Lila!), but I dont get to be there to watch her grow. I got to see friends who are engaged (Megs, Lindsey...), but I don't get to be present for their big days. I can attempt to stay in touch, to be a support from the other side of the world, but I know it isnt the same as being there.

Spending time with my family, with friends, and mentors while I was home reminded me of who I am, who I am striving to be, what I believe, and why I am here. Now I am at a point of needing to decide how to proceed from here, not necessarily in action but in attitude. I am no evangelist, but I do strive to make decisions in my life in accordance with where I believe the Lord is directing me. I felt prompted to come to Cambodia, and now I need to wrap my mind around what that means so that I can love the people I came here to serve. I keep thinking about this song called "the road to jericho," the chorus says "if lovin were easy it wouldnt be love." That has never rung more true to me than it does here. Never in my life have been in a situation of service in which I have to work so hard to think lovingly and act lovingly. I sent a message to a good friend before I left simply asking "why am I doing this again?" and the response I got was "because the Lord chose you to be love to that nation," and I thought hmmmm....How can I be love to a place that DRIVES ME NUTTTTTTTTTS?! I have grown to care very many for many of the people I live and work with in my community, but there are also many things about Khmer culture that are difficult for me to cope with (like loud speakers and attitudes towards women). Perhpas that's what I am here to learn. How to choose to think and act lovingly when it doesn't come effortlessly.

So the gist is this; I have spent a lot of time wondering why I am here. Leaving everyone back home is easier, arguably, when you can see tangibly why you left them. I can't right now, things move so slow here. However, I came to Cambodia in full confidence that the Lord wanted me in Cambodia and I will stay here until I have full assurance that the Lord wants me somewhere else, whether I understand my reason for being here or not. In the book of Luke (9:62) it says "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the Kingdom of God," While I fail all the time to be a reflection of Christ, I want to be a woman fit for service in His kingdom. So, to those back home, I miss you, I love you, and I am so thankful for your support, and I continue to need your encouragment. I will continue to love you and miss you for as long as I am gone, but I "put my hand to a plow" so to speak and I will keep moving forward until directed not to. Now I think it's time to get back to site and get my A$$ in gear.

Much Love.

Airport Diary

me and my dad dancing at his wedding


Erika and her bridesmaids


So I am now back in Cambodia after a 2.5 week trip to America and would like to regale you all with tales of my air travel.

On my way to America I took a 6+ hour bus ride down to Phnom Penh from my site (in the NW of Cambodia for those of you unaware) to arrive at the airport 4 hours before my flight. In America that’s no big deal. You check in and then proceed through security and go hang out at some fine dining facility or something while you wait for you flight. In Cambodia it’s a bit trickier. You cannot check in at the ticket counters until about 1.5 hours before your flight. Now for those of you unable to do simple addition/subtraction, that means I had 2.5 hours to kill in ticketing. Had I been in a different state of mind, the ordeal might have been irksome. However, the airport has free wifi and air conditioning so I was HAPPY (they even have toilet paper praise Jesus).

As I was sitting there at ticketing in the Phnom Penh airport facebook stalking some of you fine people, a group of airport security and immigration officers began to accumulate around me. After some time they spotted my profile picture (which was me with my host sister in khmer wedding clothes) and started asking questions. They were very excited that I knew Khmer and we chatted for a good hour. It was, to be truthful, a bit obnoxious. I just wanted to check my email and enjoy the all too infrequent fast wireless access. However, I was soon to find that it pays to be nice, and apparently to know Khmer. When it was finally time to go to the ticket counter one of the immigration officers took my passport and filled out all of my departure information, then escorted me through the first class line for ticketing, he then took me through the diplomats and officials line of passport control, he went with me through security, and then carried my bags to my gate. While none of this was at all necessary, it certainly expedited the process and made for a good laugh.

On my way back from America I had the pleasure of transiting through Shanghai. Barefoot. Let me preface this story by stating that I now harbor great animosity towards the Shanghai Airport as a facility but do not extend this displeasure to those individuals employed within the facility. So, I left Seattle early Tuesday morning with a lot of tears and last phone calls to friends and family. I got on a plane and flew a couple hours to San Francisco. By the time I made it to California I had calmed down for the most part. I was still rather sad but had pulled myself together. That was until, in the process of hauling a$$ to my gate, my shoe broke. My really expensive, supposed to last forever, chaco shoe broke. This would not be a big deal if I was traveling within America. While home, I spent a week down in Oregon, had my shoe broken then I would have just fetched one of the other 15 pairs I had in the back of my car. In route back to Cambodia, however, I had one pair of shoes. Fortunately I was stable enough at that point to recognize the humor of it. Being barefoot in an airport isn’t all that bad. I got on the plane, shoe-less, and flew 13.5 hours to Shanghai. This brings me to my bitter tirade about the Shanghai airport. It makes ZERO sense. It is not at all logical. It does not have good signs/direction indicators, and it’s a royal pain. Here’s a hint for anyone transiting through Shanghai in the future. Do not follow the signs that say “international transfers/departures” they are lying. You actually have to follow the “domestic arrivals” signs even though you are never leaving the airport. Once you follow the domestic arrivals sign you will have the pleasure of going through a health check (you know so you don’t contaminate the outside-of-the-airport-China you have no intention of visiting), then passport control and immigration to being questioned by multiple individuals about why you don’t have an address and phone number, or visa for a country you have no intention of visiting. Then, you get to collect your checked baggage and go through customs only to go through ticketing, then back through passport control, back through customs, and back through security. Does this make sense to anyone? This whole ordeal was made great only by the fact that I did it all barefoot. I looked around too, I was definitely the only person without shoes. The two saving graces are as follows: 1) I wandered into a little shop and a nice woman helped me purchase some hot pink silk slippers so that I would at least have some manner of footwear when I arrived in Cambodia. 2) Somehow in all of this craziness I ended up with a first class seat I certainly didn’t ask for and definitely didn’t pay for. So, to the man at the ticket counter who gave me a boarding pass to first class; my sincere thanks Sir.

My two weeks at home were wonderful. The opportunity to spend time with my family and friends was invaluable and I am so thankful I was able to be present for my dad’s wedding and able to be in my best friend’s wedding. Now I just have to figure out how to get back into the swing of things here!